Some days must be more entertaining than others when your sole job in life is to conjure up witty and/or accurate headlines for a news story. Take this one for example:
Leaving aside the distressing facts that actually lie behind that headline, the writer who produced it must have had a fucking grin the size of an 18 stone cheshire cat after being handed the editorial for that story.
Then there's this one:
Whoa! Whoever was responsible for that, obviously decided to fill his fucking boots and just couldn't resist tagging on that extra piece of 'information over share' at the end. No wonder really, the actual story behind that one is jammed packed full of 'titterfest' moments.
Oh .... and I know exactly what you dirty bastards are thinking too. "What the fuck does she look like? Is she fit". Well, far be it from me to err. .... spill the bean, why not judge for yourselves, the 'lady' in question can be seen HERE.
Anyhow, there must be shitloads more of these out there, somewhere, that will surely amuse and entertain us all. Have you got any fine examples that you'd like to share? The problem is it's only Monday and I'm already as grumpy as fucking fuck, especially after seeing that video over at Cato's. It's fucking ages until TFIF so I could really do with something to make me break the fuck out into a smile.
Tip of the twat to Caratacus and Microdave for the two examples above ;-)
Thanks for the link Gotty.
ReplyDelete"Half-Naked Cumbrian Woman Masturbated Whilst Driving On Motorway........"
ReplyDeleteAfter seeing the evidence, police dropped the charge of driving erotically.
If it'd been a 'knee-trembler' would she also have been charged with driving erratically?
Hilarious! Love your blog.
ReplyDeleteYour daugher, who has a history of problematic pregnancies .. is pregnant again.
ReplyDeleteYou son has been drafted to Afghanistan.
You've just had an unexpected piss in yer drawers.
So .. you think .. "I know, I'll just have one off the wrist" .. Yeah right ... ;) :) :)
Here you go Gotty .. this should put a smile on yer face ... ;)
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1X3Vyhm56Eo
I tried posting it on EyeTube .. but it doesn't seem to work .. (I know, It's my cack-handedness) .. :) :)
More like cock-handedness I'd have thought....pmsl
ReplyDeleteA normal lorry driver would have pulled her over in the next lay-by and stabbed her with a screwdriver?
ReplyDeleteOn being pulled by the police "ee chuck ma boocket needs fillin" :-P
There was a train fire in the mid 70´s on the exeter line with so many injured and if i can remember rightly it was between burnham-on-sea and chard?
:-D
Hers's some of my collection to cheer you up Gotty. I've plenty more, but need to keep someback for TFI Friday....
ReplyDeleteAnd for poor old cack (or cock) handed Captain Haddock:
http://eyetube.me/play/Politics/Chinese%20Miltary%20Parade
Know what you mean .. ;)
ReplyDeleteTrouble is, after an hour you feel like another one .. :) :)
In the video on Cato's blog one of the cunts pulls the girls skirt down at the end. I wonder if he thought it would have been immoral and immodest not to do so?
ReplyDeleteCheers MD ..
ReplyDeleteBTW .. love the pics .. especially the second one .. still laughing .. :) :) :)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/02/24/the-funniest-headline-fai_n_474212.html
ReplyDelete17 provided, amongst which:
Tiger Woods plays with own balls, say Nike.
Colleagues finger billionaire
Lady Jacks off to a hot start in conference
Chick Accuses Some of her Male Colleagues of Sexism
Which female Labour politician will own up to having lost this ???
ReplyDeleteGotty let on that he's had some motorsport experience - let's see what he makes of this: http://eyetube.me/play/YouTwat/Audi_Drift
ReplyDeleteSpeaking from experience of my 1000 plus years as a monk in North, from Jarrow to Cumbria via keswick, I am shocked by this news. =-O And angry at this slur! >:o
ReplyDeleteNo woman up here would ever masturbate!
She would "pull one off" or "go to flicky beany heaven" before having six pints, a curry and a "doorstep kebab" ;) and a roll up. :-[
Brother Gildas
That vid really did give me a head fuck. Barbaric beyond belief.
ReplyDeletecoat --> door -->
ReplyDeleteIn amongst all the anger we do know how to larrrf. Fuck me, if we didn't we'd be tearing our hair out. Bugger. I already have. Stop laughing.
ReplyDeleteAnd not necessarily in that order either .. ;)
ReplyDeleteWife's dinged the car, Son's failed all his A levels .... Oh, I know ....... *fap, fap, fap, fap*
ReplyDeleteI felt physically sick after watching that. I thought I'd seen everything but that made me heave.
ReplyDeleteFair play to the bloke .. at least he didn't hit anything ..
ReplyDeleteCan I have all of them Cap'n? All joking apart though, that marching is fucking awesome.
ReplyDeleteI always thought they were called 'pavement pizzas'.
ReplyDeleteGreat stuff BB! Sick but funny as fuck ;)
ReplyDeleteThats the her that is ;) after she left the captains tabl :-D e
ReplyDeleteDefinitely raised a titter or two MD. Cheers!
ReplyDeleteBarbaric bastards ... the lot of them.
ReplyDeleteI noticed that bit, how fucked up have you got to be to do that in such a situation. No better than cavemen though really and their likes are living here in Britain FFS.
ReplyDeleteFunny as fuck and thanks for that most excellent link. Hours of fun to be had there ;)
ReplyDeleteWhat the fucking hell! Looks like Beckett's to me ;)
ReplyDeleteGreat clip. Enjoyed that. Wouldn't possibly condone that sort of thing on the Queen's highway though ... * cough *
ReplyDeleteI was looking down my blogroll to see what to read next. There is a post from England Expects entitled "Proof perhaps that the purpose of climate taxation is not the climate but a power grab by the global elite".
ReplyDeleteBelow that was "Tits 'n' Arse".
Good post GOT. I'll go and read EE's now.
Or 'paddle with the man in the boat' perhaps brother Gildas?
ReplyDeleteLooks like something you might see if you googled 'Goatse' images.
ReplyDeleteCaptain Birdseye a fudge packer! Fuck me. I've seen it all now. Those fish fingers will never taste the same again.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely Gotty .. both the "dressing" & the uniforms are immaculate ..
ReplyDeleteMind you, I suppose the threat of instant death might just tend to concentrate the mind somewhat .. ;)
I was thinking more like Abbott's ... :) :)
ReplyDeleteGreat comment Bucko. It actually made me laugh out loud .... not an easy task ;)
ReplyDeleteFerk me .. the Shore Patrol never looked like that in my day (middle picture) .. ;)
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/v/tieA5wfcgH4" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="170" height="140
ReplyDeleteWhaaat! Abbott's Goatse? I feel sick.
ReplyDeleteThen my work here is done. Have a good evening. 8-)
ReplyDeleteBoner killing titkerchief .... worst fucking invention ever. PMSL!
ReplyDelete"Police have arrested a woman motorist for apparently watching porn whilst driving. When they stopped Colondra Hamilton, 36, they noticed her trousers undone, and a sex toy in her lap. She admitted driving whilst pleasuring herself and watching a porn movie playing on a laptop. Hamilton, of Cincinnati, US, has been charged with driving with "Impaired Alertness".
ReplyDeleteI guess that proves women are good at multi-tasking...
Another school related one:
ReplyDeleteWTF! Anyone get the name of the porno? Was it 'Jack Off The Bean Stalk'?
ReplyDeleteGOT,
ReplyDeleteCouldn't watch the video. I can't watch this sort of thing. I don't need to watch it to understand as the description's are good enough. There are people out there who truly lose it when they see total wrong being done. I'm one of them. I mean literally if I saw shit like this I'd probably rip the culprit into two.
I remember a friend, while living down in London told me to watch the Ken Bigley beheading. I said never in a million years. He told me it made him feel sick and very angry. This sort of stuff literally makes people go out and kill should they watch it. If this video was played on a large screen to indigenous whites in London, guaranteed there'd be a killing spree on Muslims. It would be guaranteed. This sort of stuff can turn quiet people into psychopaths. I'd never watch it. I'm angry at many things in life as it is and this would probably send me over the edge. I hate seeing suffering, especially when victims are totally defenceless.
You want "Tits 'n' Arse"?
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wY7a02uhZQA&feature=related
Don't know about you, but I'm exhausted.
And better late than ever... so the lady's tell me. 8-)
'Kin brilliant MD ...
ReplyDelete"Boob apron" .. the world's second worst invention after Tights .. the bastard who invented them should be strangled with 'em ..
Nothing could compare with the delight of arriving at & getting beyond the old "giggle-band" of stockings .. ;)
FFS ... "Colondra" ???
ReplyDeleteBet she's well into having the back door kicked in ... ;)
Mmmm .. Cheers for that Anthony .. works for me .. especially the lass in the leopard-print pants & shoes ... ;) :)
ReplyDeleteDefinitely one or two nice 'grooves' there Anthony. Thanks ;)
ReplyDeleteTotally understand Harbi, and that's what sets 'normal' people apart from barbarians like that. The ability to draw the line and behave responsibly when the situation requires it. No less fucking angry though!
ReplyDeleteOne last headline Gotty...
ReplyDeleteThe famous antarctic explorer Sir Vivian Fuchs was headlined thus:
"Sir Vivian Fuchs Off To Antarctica"
Someone posted that last week (I can't remember where...) I took the liberty of extracting the best shots as jpegs, using VLC media player. I was surprised to find 2 single frame images amongst them. Neither worth keeping, but I wonder why they did it? Maybe there's more subliminal advertising going on than we realise?
ReplyDeleteOld ginger minge´s fart valve is broken :-D
ReplyDeleteYep, it was supposed to have been banned long ago but I'm sure there's still plenty of it going on. Not necessarily in adverts ... if you get what I mean. I had a stab at it myeslf if you remember ......
ReplyDeletehttp://www.eyetube.me/play/YouTwat/Subliminal_New_Labour
Absolute classic!
ReplyDeleteThanks ;)