Ellie Sucks Up To Balls

Unless you can think of a better caption of course?

How very progressive. Ellie Gellard gives Balls the benefit of her deft fingertip skills during yesterday's live webchat on Mumsnet which actually involved all 5 of the Labour leader candidates, in yet another pointless display of 'huffing and puffing, before Dave MiniBlair is duly 'elected'.

If you look at the same webchat from another angle, you will see that Balls is the only one incapable of typing for himself. Fuck me, even his prime mentalist mentor managed the odd stubby finger or two on such occasions!

However, Balls did manage a rebuttle of his unshakeable bullying tag: "If you have a surname like mine, you know what bullying is like when you are a child. I hate bullies I think they are cowards. So if you don't shut the fuck up I'll rip your fucking ears off and use them for ashtrays".

Other highlights included a laptop malfunction for Andy Burnham, after he spilt mascara all over his keyboard, and Diane Abbott announcing: "I have no advisors on this campaign, isn't though, I'm quite capable of finking for myself, innit, and writing my own speeches. Dew get me?" Oh, and Dave MiniBlair's biscuit of choice is a custard cream but rumours that Ed MiliMinor still enjoys a rusk dipped in warm milk were unconfirmed.