Fuck me! Don't faint but I'm actually giving away a prize for today's caption competition. It will be a guest post, on this blog, for the person who (in my fucking opinion and possibly TheEye's as well) comes up with best effort.
"Of course, you don't have to be elected to live here, it's got full 24-hour security from your own private police force and I can let you have it for a knock-down price.
GB: fer fook sake Alistair, I said wait until I've knocked him out with my halitosis and THEN pick his pocket.
A.Darling: well fuck you Gordon, all he had was a biscuit in there.It is a choccie one though, so you will like it..but then maybe you won't..but then maybe you will..
GB, " So how did you find Lady Ashtray ? Did you take her roughly from behind ? Oh c'mmon, don't give me all that hand on heart and hope to die bollox you dirty little Belgian cunt."
"Yes, your heart may be racing. Soon you will feel hot and the gestating embryo of Tony Blair will burst through you chest wall" " ha ha.... ha ha.... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha"
I'm lubricated and ready...did you bring a condom?
ReplyDeleteShit,my wallets missing!!
ReplyDelete"Whaddya mean you feel a left tit, Mr Rumpledknobskin" ?
ReplyDeleteand now to the penultimate phase, Comrade .
ReplyDeleteI await my orders mine Fuhrer
ReplyDeleteGollum to the Eye of Sauron
ReplyDelete"I have your ring...piece"
Right, phase 1 is complete, you keep the 3 billion pound rebate, we get another unelected Commie in charge.
ReplyDeletePhase 2 starts tonight, you get to raise as much tax as you want in the UK and I become World Baker of prudence.
So who fucks who up the arse?
ReplyDeleteAny spare snot?
ReplyDeleteGordon Brown: No..No...Nooo.. I don't want any moooore money...trust me.
ReplyDeleteEU Bloke: I've got my eye on you and my hand on my money - trust is not required.
Hey Rumpoy, we've got something in common. Neither of us have been elected.
ReplyDelete"Yes, Gordo love, I have the cheque right here".
ReplyDeleteCR.
" a few eyebrows were raised as a trainee puppet master's hand finds it impossible to pull strings through a tightarse"
ReplyDelete"Welcome to No10. Since you run the place now, let me show you around".
ReplyDeleteVan Damn Rumpy: "The Filipino boy was this high".
ReplyDeleteGordon: "Hurt me, big boy!".
Rumpoy."Excuse me,while I wipe your snot off my hand".
ReplyDeleteBrown."Excuse me it's snot mine.
Oh me oh my one eye, have you seen that ugly cunt Susan Boyle. Oh forgive me, you've fucked her?
ReplyDeleteGordon: I've got a mate with a flat in Portsmouth.
ReplyDeleteVan: I've heard the Pompey Rompuy joke before, thanks.
"Of course, you don't have to be elected to live here, it's got full 24-hour security from your own private police force and I can let you have it for a knock-down price.
ReplyDeleteI can do you some gold too.."
Have no intention of winning this compo.
ReplyDeleteI'll say this though...
Gordon The Clown and The EU can go fuck a toaster for all I care.
Bring on the revolution... now that's real 'democracy'.
Rumpy: I think I may be having a heart attack, but I suppose it coul be indegestion from all that gobbling.
ReplyDeleteThe first part of the three fold sign is given by ........
ReplyDeleteI swear to God, I didn't take your My Little Pony!
ReplyDelete"So come back after dark," says the one, "And see that little slot in the door, just stick it in there."
ReplyDelete"I'll be kneeling then on the other side, nobody will ever know."
Says the other one, "Ah, my heart twitters at the thought of it, jumping with excitement inside."
"I'll see you later then buddy, 'bout half-past-eight."
"Ta-ta."
GB: fer fook sake Alistair, I said wait until I've knocked him out with my halitosis and THEN pick his pocket.
ReplyDeleteA.Darling: well fuck you Gordon, all he had was a biscuit in there.It is a choccie one though, so you will like it..but then maybe you won't..but then maybe you will..
Now let's get this straight, Rumpy, you take your orders from me, right!
ReplyDeleteHands off my Nokia you Scotch git!
ReplyDeleteI know you're a skint thieving cunt, Gordon, so I hope you don't mind if I keep my hand on my wallet for this visit.
ReplyDeleteGB, " So how did you find Lady Ashtray ? Did you take her roughly from behind ? Oh c'mmon, don't give me all that hand on heart and hope to die bollox you dirty little Belgian cunt."
ReplyDeleteHave you got the keys Rumpy, I seem to have locked myself out.
ReplyDelete"Yes, your heart may be racing. Soon you will feel hot and the gestating embryo of Tony Blair will burst through you chest wall" " ha ha.... ha ha.... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha"
ReplyDeleteRumpy: - Why must I still carry around this outdated Imperialist currency in a Soviet member state?
ReplyDeleteOne eyed mong: - I plan to "Euro"nate all over Stirling before I'm forced to call any election.