Sunday, 8 March 2009

To Whom It May Concern

Thanks to Other Bloggers Stuff  for the original idea
which has now undergone a little bit of G.O.T. tweaking

In a prepartion for all my post March 18th postings I would like to issue a statement which will leave on-one in any doubt as to how much I respect Gordon Brown and the New Labour Party.

Ok, so there was a time when I could have been accused of being a little less than respectful of our one eyed, pant pissing, bogey biting, turd burgler of a Prime Minister.
I admit it.
Now though, I have seen the error of my ways and have nothing but admiration for Gordon Brown and all that he, and the glorious New Labour Party that he represents, stand for.
There We Are Then.
No longer do I consider Gordon to be a cock sucking, brainless fuckwit with a penchant for eating sticky nose jism and  washing his trousers in public with his own piss. 
I will now endeavour to vote for him if he decides to let us have an election, not that we really need one, because he says I can trust him. 
There We Are Then.
No longer do I consider him to be a lardy arsed lying bafoon who hasn't got a fucking clue what he is doing or where the fuck he is leading us all to.
I also think it right and proper that his most senior assistant, Lord Mandelson, resides in the upper house safe from the negative opinions of the electorate.
There We Are Then.
No longer do I consider him to be the Minister for Back Door Agendas & Self Edifying Exploits nor do I find him a totally fucking, untrustworthy snake with a penchant for uphill gardening.
As for Alistair Darling, having done such a superb job as Chancellor of the Exchequer, I am happy to see him safely continue to save the world from the American based Global Financial Crisis and, while we are on the subject, well done to Mr Brown for telling that novice Mr Obama a thing or two. You certainly put him in his place and undoubtedly gained his respect for doing so.
There We Are Then.
No longer do I consider Messrs Darling and Brown to be a pair of moronic fiscal fucking twats who haven't got a fucking clue how to solve the credit crunch because they are too busy pissing in the fucking wind.
I will shortly be venturing onto our finely Policed streets where I will be ready to celebrate any chance encounter with hard working ethnic minority co-citizens who add such an essential diversity to our thriving economy.
No longer will I consider such people to be sponging low life bastards with a penchant for fleecing the fuck out of the tax payers while they, like the Chavs and the Pikeys, sit on their fat lardy arses contributing fucking fuck all to society in return.
I have also seen the light of health and fitness and will be giving up smoking and alcohol; further, I pledge to join the Citizens Patrols and help root out and educate those who continue with such disgusting and anti-social behaviours.
No longer will I be consuming industrial quantities of red wine and get totally pissed while generating images of contempt based on the theme 'Gordoom Brownfinger and his Nulabore wankers are nothing but a bunch of fascist cunts'.

Finally I would just like to add my thanks to any passing internet monitors and wish them well in their task of making the web safe for ordinary people like you and me. 
No longer do I consider them to be the Nazi saluting drones of the jackbooted, fat arsed, sow faced, freedom fucker known as Jacqui Smith.
There We Are Then.

So, to whom it may concern, I do hope that I have made myself clear.
That is all.

11 comments:

Tory Poppins said...

Coule you be a bit more descriptive? ;-) Fantabulous!

Fidothedog said...

Like it, I do hope that Brown sees it an pisses himself(again)

an ex-apprentice said...

Dear Mr Grumpywatsit,

I seem to recall there was a bloke on order-order, before that nice Mr Guido got a bit more selective about the sort of riff-raff he admitted, who used to end his comments, if you could call them that and not get instantly banged up in Belmarsh for offences under the fraud act, with the same "that is all" that I notice you often append to your pearls of wisdom.

His moniker escapes me at the moment, but he was an ignorant cunt and thick as shit.

I was just wondering if he was a acquaintance of yours?

Dr. Dave said...

You couldn't have been more clear. Well done...

All Seeing Eye said...

A thoroughly splendid effort.

It would be fun to know the gallonage of red wine consumption which went into this for future amusement.

it's either banned or compulsory said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Old Bag said...

ahhh..a nice nulabore love-in!..more tea, vicar?

GrumpyOldTwat said...

The Eye may be interested to know that it only took a bottle and a half of an extremely nice Merlot Sauvignon blend to produce this post. Although I can also admit to a couple of pints of Bomdardier at lunchtime, which slipped down rather nicely.

Mr An Ex-Apprentice may like to know that I have never left comments at the place called Order-Order, in this guise or any other, and cannot recall being an acquaintance of anyone else who has penned the phrase 'That is all'. However I can confirm that I am indeed an ignorant cunt who is thick as shit. I hope this helps and thank you for stopping by at my place.

Sorry EBC, maybe I have had a bad day or I am being ignorant (again - see above), but I'm afraid I don't understand who you mean by 'Mr so called Penguin'.

it's either banned or compulsory said...

Soz, G.O.T., having reviewed my Ex-comment at 17:27, I have absolutly no idea what it was about and have thus deleted it.
Note that I have done this without the need for advice from Nazi saluting drones of the jackbooted, fat arsed, sow faced, freedom fucker known as Jacqui Smith.

" Freedom Fucker " as a phrase may well go far and I shall promote it muchly.

peter d said...

my god(if there is one?)how can you sleep at night-your mind must be buzzing 24/7 no wonder you need your own winery.I totally agree with all you have said (well what i've had time to read,keep up the good work and send your blog to this non existant government and shove it where their sun does'nt shine-sideways

GrumpyOldTwat said...

Yes, peter d, how astute.
I am in a constant state of 'head fuck' all because NuLabore and their cronies, and all they stand for, are such a bunch of twatting freedom fuckers.

That said, thanks for taking the trouble to call in at 'Sweary Central'.